Deviled Eggs

Now, I fucking hate eggs. They suck, i dont know why people just cant be patient and wait for them to turn into delicious chickens. However, I will include this recipe as this is a cookbook for all of AU, a dear friend Zach Bartscherer has submitted this recipe for deviled eggs.

Ingredients:

Hard boiled eggs

Mayonnaise

Mustard

Relish

paprika

red pepper

tabasco

1. Wait in MGC until you find a underclassman with swipes

2. Get Swiped

3. Get some hard boiled eggs

4. Cut those fuckers in half

5. Scoop out the yolk and place them in a bowl

6. Add some mayonnaise, mustard and relish from the sandwich station

7. Go to the pizza station and get paprika and rep pepper

8. Get some tabasco and pour that shit in too, this step is optional if you are a person (pussy) who does not like spicy food

9. Mix that shit uppp

10. Scoop that filling and put it back into the holes where the yolk were

11. Garnish the shit out of the deviled eggs with dill

11. Eat, enjoy and laugh at all the uncreative pieces of shit that hate tdr.

Alcohol

Its Friday, and you want to get shitty, but you haven't eaten yet. Why wait? Follow these steps

Shit to bring:

Any type of Alcohol

Steps

1. Swipe

2. Find a seat, preferably next to a table of girls (unless your a girl then just call me ;) )

3. Go find some fucking FREE AND UNLIMITED mixers!!!!!!! (Pick mixers strategically to pair well with your alcohol).

4. Some motha fuckin suggestions

Lemonade with sweet tea vodka

Cranberry + Orange juice + vodka. Or try the alternate Tequila Sunrise (this shit will blow your mind)

Coke and Rum

Four Loko.... really, just Four Loko

Beer (doesnt take advantage of free mixers, but who gives a fuck)

5. Turn the music all the fuckin way up

6. Drink your alcohol

7. GET FUCKED UP

8. Be fuckin amazed at the INFINITE amount of delicious mixers at your disposal

9. No need to worry about drunk munchies as there is an fucking unlimited amount food to eat

10. Drink, enjoy, and laugh at all the uncreative sober kids that hate TDR.

Turkey Melt

Ingredients

2 grilled cheese

turkey burger

lettuce

tomato

onion rings(optional)

1. Swipe

2. Order a turkey burger (now some meat heads think turkey burgers are for pussies, but FUCK THAT, these things are delicious and healthy, so maybe one day you could look as good as me.)

3. Get some grilled cheese and open that fucker up

4. Get your lettuce and tomato from the sandwich bar, and some onion rings

5. Wait what will seem like forever for your turkey burger. If you're lucky there will be turkey burgers waiting for you.

6. Cut your turkey burger right down the middle. Dont fuck this up, if its not down the middle it wont fit correctly.

7. Put it all together (some people like ketchup, but it is not essential to the sandwich)

8. Eat, enjoy and laugh at all the uncreative pieces of shit that hate TDR.

Pasta Bolognese

Ingredients

Pasta with marinara at Pasta Toss

Hamburger

Provolone

Basil

Parmesan

Salt

1. Swipe

2. Go to the firewok, get some motha fuckin pasta

3. Don't wait in line, rather ask the TDR person to get you some marinara

4. Go to american grill and ask for a hamburger, or two if you like a lot of meat... ;)

5. While waiting for your burger, get two or three slices of provolone and put that shit on there

6. Go to the pizza station and get some basil and Parmesan and shake that shit like a polaroid picture

7. Get your burger and cut that shit up, and mix it all together

8. Sit down and apply salt as needed

9. Laugh at all the uncreative pieces of shit that hate TDR